It's Not about You

Kender du følelsen når du ikke får jobbet til en jobsamtale? Eller når nogle aflyser en aftale, og du føler at det er dig den er gal med? Tro mig, du er ikke alene.Hvis der er noget jeg syntes der har været hårdt førhen, har det været følelsen af, at folk ikke kunne lide mig, eller at jeg ikke var god nok. Men, det er jeg efterhånden kommet godt over, for jeg har lært (ved at høre fra andre, og have læst en masse om emnet), at det højst sandsynligt slet ikke har noget med en selv at gøre.De fleste mennesker har så travlt med dem selv og deres eget liv, at de vitterligt ikke tænker særlig meget over dig og dine valg. Lad mig komme med et eksempel, jeg har efterhånden været til en del jobsamtaler, og i starten tog jeg det virkelig hårdt når jeg fik et nej tak fra arbejdsgiveren, om at jeg ikke fik jobbet. Men nu har jeg efterhånden også været til flere jobsamtaler hvor jeg er kommet til ikke bare 1. samtale, men også 2. samtalen, men alligevel ikke har fået jobbet. Jeg har fået at vide af arbejdsgiveren at jeg virkede rigtig god og passende til jobbet - men, der var bare en der passede endnu bedre. Og bare fordi en anden har en ting mere på CV'et som gør dem mere passende, betyder jo absolut ikke, at du ikke er god - husk på det!Det er blandt andet også tanken om "åh nej, hvad vil andre ikke tænke", der har afholdt mig fra at dele det at jeg har en blog på Facebook i lang tid. Jeg turde simpelthen ikke dele med alle dem jeg er 'facebook venner' med, at jeg har en blog. For bloggen er jo ret personlig, og jeg har sgu altid været lidt af en people-pleaser, og vil gerne have at folk kan lide mig. Men, jeg er efterhånden kommet dertil hvor at jeg tænker at jeg bare skal være mig selv, og gøre de ting jeg kan lide - og de mennesker som kan lide mig, de hænger ved, og de andre - ja, hvorfor skal man bruge tid på dem overhovedet?Jeg har endnu et godt eksempel. Som nævnt i et tidligere blog indlæg læste jeg for nyligt bogen 'Big Magic' af Elizabeth Gilbert. Elizabeth Gilbert ville gerne være forfatter, og sendte på et tidspunkt en novelle ind til et magasin, og de afslog. Der gik flere år, Elizabeth fik udgivet noget andet og hun fik sig en agent, og agenten sendte samme novelle ind til det samme magasin som havde afslået hende nogle år tidligere. Nu fik hun at vide, at de elskede historien! Det spøjse er, at det var samme person som dengang afslog hende, som nu elskede selv samme historie. Så nogle gange, handler det ikke om dig. Personen her har højst sandsynligt haft travlt med en masse andet, eller bare skimmet historien i første omgang og ikke læst den grundigt nok. Der er så mange ting der kan have indflydelse på alting.Så det jeg ville sige med dette indlæg er egentlig bare, at lad være med at tænk for meget over hvad andre mennesker tænker om dig. Gør hvad der gør dig glad, og vær dig selv! Så skal der nok ske fantastiske ting her i livet.Do you know that feeling when you don't get a job you've applied for? Or somebody cancels a date, and you feel like it is because of you? Trust me, you're not alone. If there is something I've had problems with beforehand, it is the feeling of people not liking me, or that I wasn't good enough. But over time I've learned to get over this, because I've learned (by listening to others, and reading about the subject), that most likely it has nothing to do with you.Most people are too busy with themself and living their own lives, that they truly don't think much about you and your choices. Let me give you an example, I've been to quite a lot of job interviews now, and in the beginning it really got me down every time I didn't get the job. But now that I've been some interviews where, not only did I get 1 interview, but I got into the 2nd round as well, but still didn't get the job. I've been told by the employer that I seemed really good and fitting for the job - however, there just was another one that fitted even better. And just because someone else has one more thing on their CV does not mean that you wasn't good - remember that!It is also the thought of "oh no, what will other think" that has kept me from sharing that I have a blog on my Facebook for such a long time. I simply didn't have the courage to share with all of my 'Facebook friends' that I had a blog. Because my blog is quiet personal, and I've always been quiet a people-please, and have been wanting people to like me. But, I've come to a place where I'm thinking that I just need to be myself, and do the things that I like - and the people that likes me will stick, and does who doesn't - well, why even bother? I have another good example. As mentioned in an earlier blog post, I just read the book 'Big Magic' by Elizabeth Gilbert. Elizabeth Gilbert wanted to be a writer, and she send in a novel for a magazine, and they turned it down. Many years passede, and Elizabeth got some things published and she got an agent, and the agent send in the exact same novel to the exact same magazine which had turned her down some years earlier. Now she got the answer that they loved the story! The funny thing is, it was the exact same person that rejected her story down the first time, which loved the story this time. And it was the exact same story. So sometimes, it just isn't about you. The person had most likely been too busy with something else, or had just skimmed the story the first time and not read it thoroughly enough. There are so many things which you influence the outcome. So what I wanted to say with this post is; stop thinking so much about what others think about you. Do what makes you happy, and just be yourself! Then amazing things will happen in your life.